if tomorrow never comes...

are guys really embaressed when they hear things about women's monthlies?
seriously?
or do u all just conform to the "normal" guy's notion of NEVER wantin to hear ANYTHIN about menstruation?

i've got a prob wid my period and i'm very tempted to rant about it, but quite obviously, i can't.
so that's all i'm gona procrastinate about:
the fact that guys should just open up and be more MAN about facin the problems of the feminin flower.
we girls have already done our part in openin our minds about certain sexually related views. why, the rate of pre marital sex has gone down to an average of 18 years of age when it use to be what, 24 in the 1950s??? and even then it was AFTER marrige.

so what's wrong with guys? WHAT'S wrong with our natural bleed?
without it, we'd probably be poppin babies every year,
now THAT's somethin to fear.
ew.
its like dragon baby boom times infinity. *horror.
if its not the number of sore vaginas that would result from such a catastrophie, then it'll def be the increased level of mental patients in mental hospitals from all that built up of stress frm useless educational systems in Singapore. so much so the govt would HAVE to open say, 3 more (MH)? just to accomadate the growth rate.

i have nothin much else to say except that i'm dreadin PE tmr casue i foresee a 4 round run arnd the bloody ( talk abt pointin out the obvious) track, and my thighs are still quiverin frm tuesday's PE.
i can't even do my usual stretch without cringing in pain.

1 day!!! *chants away.

pains rectus orgasm.

***Elvis, the post below this was suppose to HINT to u NOT to call me Gretchen but instead, call me the sexier, and much more APPEALIN name, Kamea-kai. (((:
yes. do that. HAHAHA.

i'm demoralised and depressed bout the fact that my volleyin has deproved after not playin the sport for bout 2-3 weeks. /:

i can sadly call myself a permanent reserve.
since when did my sport life ever hit an all time low???

i use to be at my peak, if not somewhere halfway (which was still enough for me).
now i'm like in the lowest rank i can never imagine myself possibly in!!!
*sigh.
it has deflated my ego and pride,
and now i need ting xi's cynical approach in life to help make matters a tad less hurtful.

i need my lit tutorial teacher to bug off and bring back some old news so my life can go back to lovin literature like i really use to.

and now i hear disgustingly irritatin noise on tv ( probably just for laughs little snippets) which is gettin me REALLY irritated.

i'm drown myself in pain's hurtful embrace.
drowin, and waitin for death's final breath of peace ,
to be blown onto me.
to hone into me.
takin one step away from reality,
oh just to take the feelin of emptiness.
to take it far from my very soul.

and u noe maths?
its like when u finally think u got it, it slaps u right in the face and says,
" ha ha! loser! got u there, got u there!"

my chi's flow balance has really been tipped.
i need my daily dose of happiness.
where has it gone.
*looks around in utter despair.

2 days ( he comes back on friday!)
such comforts i take in, if only for just a short while, while it makes all the difference.

oooo~

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Kamea Kai

What's your Hawaiian Name?

scratchin life's many groves

ms marie lim (ct) told us (retainees) to show our encouragement and give our classmates some positive advice for PW.
it all came about when she heard our nonsensical chatter and complains from miles away ( across the classroom) about the "InR being the worst of the worst, no the WR, no, it was definitely the PI", but what started as meer comments, blew into a full blown story- tellin contest which managed to hold as much animosity towards PW as a bucket filled with dog poo.

she then told us to do what was right, and give some encouragement and not give such.. negative comments, to a what she felt was somethin which wasn't as tedious as we made it out to be ( but she DID deeply sympathise with us).

right away we empathise her move to showin some concern to our fellow classmates and proceeded on with our overly enthusiastic encouragements, which they(classmates) SURELY could sense was much less than the usual, basic enthusiasm.
basic enthusiasm usually refers to a thought like, " oh, sure u can do it. "

but we did not mean to sound harsh or unfeeling.
its just that,
its times like these,
that make me realise how,
FORTUNATE
i am to be a retainee.
*bows out. :D

painting life

more:

at cheryl's place.

at the bus stop. waitin for somethin to happen.
our peeptoe heels, guilty as charged.
the picture which emphasizes my lack.
our feet were really hurtin...
after being rudely rejected. i felt keen on showin my
dejection. cheryl gratefully obliged.
there was also the mature way.
and then it finally didn't matter.
cause when we went to carol's place,
joy's personified existence
cured all pain. (((:

alright. that's it.
now all i want is
- a new pair of thick framed red specs.
- a new bag.
- a shirt (latcose)/ belt (P.R)/ watch (casio)
tell me which one is worth it for a 1 year anni? TELL ME!!!

ok. THAT'S all i want.
and all i NEED is 400 bucks.

of course... donations are always welcome.. (((:

FOUR days!!!

hear me ROAR!!! (:

the second.

THIS was taken by beloved. not bad huh.

"don't do it! DON'T"
our choc fondue night.
now we noe his scandalour fetish.
( notice the flash is at some... hur, particular place)

cockroach that is the very BANE of my existence.

alright, that's all i'll show. NEXT>>>

this is SU-SU. (:
cheryl, SQUARE.
the tiny thing wavin her hand is VIThya.
thtas elvis. only he's not really lookin at the camera... ass.
IN SCHOOL. my god. like we dun haf enuff fruits. really.

... you get the ides. haha. ( art students, we just can't help it. (((:)
elvis actin emotional. and dinie.. being dinie.
that's it. *nods and grins WIDELY :D

ok. i'm sick of uploadin fotos. the rest can come later.

goodnight! (:

country road, take me home.

the sequel.

art outreach at jiemin prmary was horror.
the children were.. were... EVERYWHERE.
but they WERE cute. and adorable, and probably everythin we aren't now, but they were def noisy and nerve wreckin, and THAT i suspect doesn't exist MUCH in most of us, and that i hope is TRUE.
oh sigh.
for the love of art people!
for the love of art. /:

took some fotos wid ppl i've never took of/with.
and there is a foto of my adidas jacket!!! (:
then there is some with my bald lover.

there are ALSO fotos of the night out for attempted clubbin.
feel our anger.
see me ROAR!!!

here we go. . .

( its 5 days!!! )

tiresome.

since nxt sat for sentosa is out, then which day would u all prefer???

i'm very frustrated about my tummy which has just grown a TIRE over the past 2 days.
and all thanks to calvin.
his presence manages to make me eat more than i usually do, and sometimes more than him./:
and u ask how THAT is possible.

well, frankly, i Really Don't Know. ):

yesterday i ate:
-subway for dinner
-choc fondue at a HORRIBLY unhealthy hour addin on to the fact that its bad to HAVE supper and, chocolate! of all things...
today i ate:
-bread banana ( at home) went downstairs coffeeshop to eat a plate of DUCKRICE (already more than him since he din eat anythin b4)
- subway (yea again. ahah) for lunch.
(only this time, i ate a muffin before that and 1/5 his share of chips inclusive of the acket of chips i've alreasdy finished! )

AND on friday.
-i ate mcchicken burger student meal, UPSIZED (finished all /:) after which at chocolate cake TWO SLICES ( carol's cake)
i can't remember wad i ate for breakfast and lunch. but i remember complainin alot about eatin too much while i was eatin dinner at macs.

NOW u understand my frustration. and EVERYTIME i look at my tummy, i almost want to roar out loud from the loss of it.

now the thought of it is gettin me agitated again. *tears tiresomely.

but BUT,

calvin and i finally took some long required photos!

AND AND AND!!!! i got my adidas jacket. (:

we ALSO watched failure to launch.
really funny. hahaha.
really.
quite heart wrenching at some parts.
but i only said QUITE.
dun get all...

oh wells.
time to catch up on long forgotten homework. /:

its back to 5.5 days. ))):

jump tryouts- OUT!

now at cheryl's place. (((:
yes, stayin over. :D

BUT BUT, plans were destroyed. /:
yes. i was BOUNCED from MOS.
pls dun talk to me about it.
i was so traumatised by the whole event, i couldn't bring up enuff guts to try balcony.

adn both of us were wearin novo peek toe white shoes (NO, not identical u twit) adn had blisters. almost everywhere.
i said almost so i'm not exaggertin.

we travelled from cheryl's place to bishan J8 to eat dinner at macs ( by then we were starvin adn i was feelin giddy, adn my stomach was makin fart noises, and can u believe it was suppose to be a grrroooowwwwwllll?) then to raffles place.
THAT's where the big pangs of pains started.
then we wondered through boat quay then to clark quay to MOS stood in the queue for NOT very long, adn then the climax of the night.
*BOUNCE!
( i think its the mole that was the most obvious diff. /: shit y din i use a damn concealer??!)
*roar! haha.
then took cab to orchard, hereen, the balcony, only to ditch that idea and tried flaggin for a taxi in front of cine ( took abt 20-30 mins la).
FINALLY reached carol's HUMONGOUS place after a treacherous trip through multiple turns and twists.
and will u believe if i told u she got a puppy ( shitzu!!! its darn adorable. DARN DARN DARN!!!)????!!

ok anyway. stayed there for only a while then made our way back to cheryl's place.
right now.
ALL the money that i've spent so far, is on taxi fare. this is assholic. ASSHOLIC i tell you. /:

but pretty haha, fun if u think about it.
no no, if I thin about it.

good experience, the bouncin thing.
u should try it. act act.
adn i memorised her ic no. and add!!!
all those brain cells dyin for a lost cause...

HAHA.
oh wells. (((:

12 HOURS!!! (((:

ho oh man...

who knew trinklet-makin was THAT fun? haha

we had our virginal (or at least it was mine) handle with beads, tasels, hooks, rings, crystals(and they're real! dun belief check for a prism of colours when u bring it to the light), pliers and cutter.

and we had pinchin ( casue we both got pinched by the pliers one time or another) fun cause all we did was tangle and untangle.

Finally cheryl brilliantly conjoured up the final product ( for a special someone! (:).
our very first!!! :D

and i've just managed to conjour up one of my own. (((:

our sale journal products in the makin. YAY!!!!

we sell:
-trinklets or all kind made into anythin u can imagine.
-t-shirts which you can find at hula & co. sold at amazingly reasonable prices.
-and anythin we can get our hands on.

you wait.

the site is done. all we need is more more MORE STUFF!!! (((:

MOS-in tmr!!!!
goodness. finally. :D
now all i can do is hope that the IC i'm usin won't reveal the truth.

i have grease on and playin right at this very moment but i'm not watchin it. the music is however, nice, and infinitly the main reason why i turned the show on.

( 15 mins later)

i just attempted to recall most of the mass dance. haha
not bad.
i miss dancin the mass dance!!!
/:

i miss the massive everythin about it.
haha. "MASSIVE" ( inside joke). ha. * cough.

oh, and the supposed sketches i was suppose to so was never done. only did 3. /:
throughout the round where ms gao made us show our drawings to everyone ( all EIGHTEEN) so that she can grade it, my heart was thumpin on my ribcage as if it was about to burst through.
it was one of the most fearful days this year. haha.
no kiddin. haha

many march babies to entertain this month.

and can u believe it?
i'll probably be spendin 150 plus.
on MY birthday month!
*roar!
i just knew everythin would turn out bad somehow. /:
ha.

today was a horrid day for me.
somethin wrong with my saliva. haha.
literally la.
u noe those days where it just feels TOO much? yea. today was it. haha.
and i kept trippin and draggin my dead feet.

i'll never eat fruits to cure my hunger again.
i'll just drink their juice. /:
u noe it actually makes u hungrier ( eatin the fruits i meant).
u din noe rite...~?
now u noe. *_*

i want that adidas jacket!!! ( the more i chant the further i get frm it. once i do get to buy it, it'll probably be in the hands of some other... creature! who ever had the gullibility to actually think SHE looks nice in it.) HAHAHA
*Woops. :P

1.5 days more!!! (((:

all over the dance floor.

so i'll be stickin to volleyball and leave YJ with an empty testimonial. /:
unless they add my track records.... that at elast would be somethin. like 1/5 of the page. ha.
not bad pls.
dun u DARE stare down that spindly long nose of urs.
i noe urs would probably be a lot shorter but pls, no need to feel inferior. (: *nods

today mad rushin of homework. especially maths.
and wad did i say bout maths????
hmmm.
but i like the way they're being so generous with the daily work marks.
its like charity work.
only for a MUCH greater cause. *grins.

gp lesson was a joke. the issue in class was:
"innovate a way in which u can solve the problem of the over attachment, children in hospitals haf for the provided teddy bears (let's just say la)"

there were of course solutions like
-makin the parents buy the teddy at a slightly higher price so there will be some profit made frm the loss ( talk about econs.../:),
-do mass purchasin so it wouldn't be expensive.
and so on. BUT

the retainees cleverly thought up of~... :
-takin polaroid pictures while the chidren are sleepin with their bears.
-then doin a mass theft of all the teddies *SWIPE THEM ALL!
-and writin a note ont he polaroid sayin," sorry, i have to goooo..../:" OR "see you soooonnnn...(:"
(the irony, HA!)
-then when the children wake up, they'll at least haf the memory of their LAST encounter with their beloved. (:
-and we're sure they won't question.
we're SURE.

the air rifle. no no, air WEAPONS cca briefin and tour at safra was... uh.. more or less a waste of time actually.
the costs is SOOOooo expensive,
and to think i was goin thru a dilema on whether to drop volley for it!

i'm pretty sleepy. i think i'll forgo antm's "INDSIDE" episode and sleep arnd 10. that's inclusive of exercisin b4 hand.
*yawn.
damn. i bet its all that maths.

AND OH MY GOD, spencer and sng not teachin us! wad the fuck.
as in for tutorials. can u believe that atrocity!?
*roar!
i want to complain. and whine. and do so much more.
i curse spencer to haf sore throat and cough, so he'll never be able to roar his life away and remain silent for the rest of my 2 years in YJ.
and i curse sng. may his hair turn black by tmr.

i need my daily dose of calvin lee xian jing. ):

and sentosa volleyball-CLAN,
chose ur DATE ( all saturdays, so can spend late night out to haf dinner aft. HAHA) :
- 1st april.
- 14th april. (friday) (its a holiday, but i duno wad-goodfriday?, just state for now.)
- 15th april.
- 22nd april.

ok if we pull it any later, we'd end up goin there to study for blocks instead of actually enjoyin volley.

and wad of the durin sch hours of volley fun??
find common break leh... *whines.
HAHA.
ok. soon. soon. settle sentosa first.
SETTLE IT ASAP.

3 days!!!! ((((:

bringin in the P

fotos, ENLARGED.

at the hawker centre. duh.more ppl arrivin and buyin breakfast.
hopin pen ink would kill our boredom.
and then we got bored and continued with cup namin.
and i'm sick of taggin his fotos. HAHA
my sick hair which andrew is OBVIOUSLY makin fun of. ):
on the train to NEWTON! (:

ok i'll stop here. blogger is givin me probs. LATER.

finding myself wanting.

MORE VOLLEYBALL!!!
/:
i miss the ogl-in period where it was volley day almost EVERYDAY.

volleyclan shld set a fixed day for every week to play volley.
or maybe, set another sentosa outin to play! (((:

just had deli sandwich, tuna ( chapata bread- i THINK that's how u spell it. thhe flat one if u must noe.)
AND
frenchfries. /:
all that swearin to lose weight. HA.

and had height and weight taken today.
STUPID weighin machine makes ppl 2 kg heavier!!! *roar
i'll never forgive that that.. THING.
and the height measurin tape makes ppl 1 cm shorter... *sigh
(by the way, BOTH were provin by majority of the population in the gym thank u.)
i'm tired of roarin.
already did quite a bit earlier today.

i have 7 more sketches to do frm a long ago assignment for art, maths tutorial to complete and geog tutorial 3 for weathering.

i ALSO havin touched any holiday hw for gp.

this is definitely a great way to start my retained year don't u think?

and do i spy CELULITE on my thighs?!

no more fries.
NO MORE.
for... 4 months.
watch me.

but of course if its new york fish and chips from fish & co, i can't very well deny myself the priviledge now can i? :D

now now, now all i need is for WEI SI ( or wei sin?) to send me those photos frm so long ago friday of orientation!
who has her email let me noe at ONCE.

FOUR days.

grouch declares!

he's at field camp. dum dee dum. /:
what do i do with my nights NOW~
oh and i miss him sooo... ):

school was horrible?
no that's prob too strong a word, but right now i cannot POSSIBLY think of anythin else.
all i can do is regret the loss of time frm march hols.
and fear the time about to come.

i already haf MUCH homework to do.
its uncountable.
i'm grouchy and short tempered.
beware!
haha, and i've a small feelin elvis just received a tad of wad i had to give this afternoon. HAHA
much apologies, BUT
*ROAR.

and i HATE maths.
that is NOT too strong a word.

much to smile.

The best things i'll remember this week:

- art lesson on tuesday.

- thursday's sentosa outing and prata after.

- " i love you. and i want to take care of you." on saturday.
this i'll remember FOR LIFE. (:

times it.

- i'm missing my man like crazy.

- i haven done my homework.

- my "puffball" (handphone chain) is dirty.

- i'm REALLY missin him a lot ALOT.

- its 5.35 more days till i see him again.

- its about time i start serious studying.

- my present class has only FOUR ( god. can u believe it?! FOUR!!!) guys.

so if you disturb ONE hair on me, i SWEAR,

i'll roar.

and you'll NEVER hear the end of it.

ever.

*broods.

cheer

i know you all were secretly waiting, LOST, without my loggin rite. (((:
UNCOVERED! *sniggers

ok wadeva.

HERE, is a log of RANDOM shots, taken by JANSON. /:
enjoy. HAHA.
:D

BOOM yj boom. :P

fotos! HAHA. only a portion however.
a log will come up later when i'm actually bothered to decrease the size, line them up NICELY, and so on. so WAIT.
until then, enjoy. (:

during the journey to harbour front. ( i HAD to cut off most of the pic.
cheryl's imperial orders. /:)

haha. true to his words, elvis the onion!!! :D

sometimes i think we try too hard. HAHA. (:

the bridging group doin their thing durin the LLLLoooonnngggg wait.

finally at sentosa where we met sofian (is that how u spell his name?) and his class.

and there's andrew being his usual confused self.

even i can't figure out what cheryl was checkin out. HAHA.

all that fuss.

oh and we KNOW~ we look hot. HAHAHA

the more PRO ones of the group. SHOWOFFS! (((:
more bridging action.
some breastie action.
i just KNEW she had the hots for me! i just knew...
on the way OUT of sentosa.
who could they be... *smirks.

the prata gang. where we ended our "journey of the hungry".
men of the hour.
pretty impressive huh. kudos to cheryl.

ok. so that's only a short preview of what we took that fateful day ( HUR).
mroe to come.
AND
i want more comin in.